Raise your hand if you watch the Golden Girls! Admit it, you’ve spent plenty a night in sweat-panted harmony with your couch and our dear retired Floridians. As if you needed another excuse, we invite you to have a little fun with a bottle of vino and the gals in the near future.
To get you in the mood, check out our lineup of the Golden Girls as wine. Thank you for being a friend…
Short in stature but not in attitude, Sophia is a hard-headed Sicilian immigrant with a knack for inappropriate sexual commentary and giving zero f*%$’s. Everyone’s favorite straight-shooter, Sophia doesn’t suffer fools lightly and was an early pioneer of “slut-shaming.”
What is Sophia? Nero d’Avola. Because we know Sophia would roll over in her grave if we declared her anything but a Sicilian grape, she must be the most Sicilian grape of them all, Nero d’Avola. One of Sicily’s most important native varietals, Nero d’Avola is sturdy and densely driven, yet offers very accessible red-fruited aromas and sweet tannin. Nero d’Avola have a memorable old world character to them- very appropriate for our one of a kind ol’ pal Sophia.
Everyone’s favorite St. Olafian, what Rose may lack in brain cells she certainly makes up for in purity of heart and sincerity. She almost never gets the joke, even when its on her. She has a saying for just about everything, usually involving words that aren’t actually words.
If dear Rose is a grape, what is she? Sauvignon Blanc. Fanciful and flirty, Sauv Blanc is a classic go-to friend that is great to have on your side. And admit it- there’s not a more loyal friend to be found than Rose Nylund. Although you can probably trust Sauvignon Blanc not to embarrass you at a party more so than Rose. France is Sauv Blanc’s “spiritual” home, where the mineral content really shines alongside veins of citrus and green grass.
Dorothy’s calm sensibilities and rationality were a definite necessity for the GG’s. Almost infuriatingly grounded, Dorothy was also the reigning queen of sarcasm and dry wit. She at times suffered from a lack of luck in the love department, which made her the brunt of many of Blanche’s jokes. She took it like a champ. What is ol’ Dorothy?
Bordeaux. So this is really a region rather than a grape, but for the sake of argument, we’re going to call Dorothy a nice, sturdy, red Bordeaux blend. Sometimes a little closed and austere, these wines are ones that usually reveal their true charms after some time. A tad on the masculine side (kind of like Dorothy), they are steadfast and unwavering. Earthy, but with appealing red & purple fruit along with twinges of savory herbs. A study in old-world, “never goes outta style” elevation.
First of all, a moment of reflection at the sheer genius of Blanche. There is no other character in the history of television that dared to venture into the “easy older woman” category quite so effortlessly. This was no small feat; Blanche’s sluttiness is outright, unabashed and still manages to be charming. She tries classy on for size, but usually arrives back at trashy. But its all good when you’re old, rich and you still got it goin’ on. Kudos, Blanche. Go on with your bad self. Therefore, there’s only one grape that Blanche can be…
Chardonnay. Chard is many things, but one of its highest incarnations is a big, busty, oaky, butter bomb from California. It may be a style that you only feel like having every so often, but when you do- and its right- its just SO right. Unapologetically voluptuous and broad-textured, you’ll be brought straight to your knees by a proper California Chardonnay. Come to think of it, that’s probably how Blanche prefers it…